My date last night... oh boy, where to begin. I can't properly explain this one. He made call backs for Rent. That's impressive. He used to write a dating advice blog because men just don't know what they are doing. Plus, he has lots of advice to give, especially sex advice. That's right, sister. Oh yeah, he called me sister twice. I'm not one to stereotype but from the first moment I saw him, I was like "gay." And how does he deal with his flamboyancy, by being overtly and completely sexual, of course.
So we get kicked out the restaurant fairly early on, because they had a holiday party or something. Since I had wine, I didn't feel ready to drive, so we jumped in his jeep to head to the bookstore. We had planned to go there anyway. But before driving, he leaned over and started kissing me. Yep, that happened maybe 1 hour after we met. Oh and we had talked about playing Clue, so right then he asked if I'd rather just go to his house and play it, instead of the bookstore. I was like, "no, I think we should hit the bookstore" and my inner dialogue was "fuck no! What sort of slut do you think I am?"
He had chosen which bookstore but somehow he did not know how to get there. Luckily, I, the one who does not spend much time in St. Paul, did.
So we find Borders and start wandering around, hitting the psych section first because I thought it might be interesting to go there. Lucky me, it happened to be right next to all the sex books. That allowed him to tell me about how the American ideas of Kama Sutra are so totally wrong. Totally, sister (I can't even say that word without cringing). So, we separated for awhile so he could go look at graphic novels. We met back up in fiction and he told me some of his short story ideas. Did I mention that he wants to be a writer? Yes, he does. What luck for him that I am working in children's publishing.
At the bookstore he grabbed me and kissed me again following it promptly with a "I'm not really in to PDA." Puke.
So, when we finally close down the bookstore (10 pm) we head back to his car where he again starts kissing me and asks me again to go to his place. I tell him for about the 10th time that I can't. He says, "I know. That's why I asked." Nice. I believe he also made a comment about hopping in the back seat but I think my non-response kept him from taking it further. Oh, he did tell me that my legs were scrumptious and then totally started trying to get further. That's when I stopped him and told him we had to go. The whole way back to my car he talked about the importance of kissing and how he has had to teach many women the proper way to do it. He informed me that I am quite good at it and gave me an explanation as to why. I appreciated that. I always dreamed that I would have a gay guy analyze my kissing skills.
We got to my car, he kissed me again and I was free. So, I know what you're wondering. Why the hell did you kiss the guy if you were so uninterested and sure that he was gay? I don't know, man. First, I'm just not good at stopping people from doing it... EVER. Fine, you want to kiss me.... ok, nothing really to lose. Plus, he was actually a pretty good kisser. God, it feels gross saying that. But insane as it is, I find myself able to enjoy kissing people who I'm not at all interested in. I would have thought I'd be grossed out by it, but I actually kind of enjoyed it. That is a super big problem, I know. But I sort of look at it as a learning experience. Practice makes perfect, right? Oh god, I'm a retard. ;) But it's funny. It's really funny. This whole dating thing has got me laughing today. I mean, seriously? Seriously? Are there any straight, single, employed, nice guys out there? Whatever. I guess I'm just looking at it as more chapters in my little book.
And just another note about Kev... I sort of like calling him that. He sent me 1 text yesterday that said "You're addictive. They should put a label on you or something." What is that, people? Is that the line of smooth operator or what? I cannot stand it. It's way too damn smart. How do I resist it? I need to resist it.
Dating is silly.
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