hypocrite

Fuck me. Kevin just sent me a text that said "Baby it's cold outside. I sure would like to see you again." Oh, fuck me. Tell me I'm reading too much into those words but I'm pretty sure that he meant that text for someone else. That second sentence is exactly what he sent me after our first date. And we already have plans for Saturday so that message makes no sense. I don't give a shit if he's dating other people. Look, I was going to go out with other people too. But the fucking sappy messages and all the exaggerations about how great I am and falling for me really piss me off. It looks like this is his MO. And here I thought he was cool and serious. Jesus christ. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I am a stupid, naive idiot. That's it. I am too stupid to date. Done, I tell you. Done!

Ok, now that I got that out of my system, I am honestly feeling a little relieved. I did say in my last post that I was cautious and unsure. Thank god for that. This still is a bit of blow and I do still feel a little naive for thinking he might be serious, but whatever. The more I do this dating this, the more I realize how fucking awful human beings are and how little I want to deal with them. I see a life of books, wine and seclusion in my future. And hey, that's perfectly all right. I like a world with out all the bullshit and pain. That's the world I'm looking for.