Uptown is beautiful in the fall. Yesterday I ran around Lake Calhoun as the sun was setting and the leaves were shimmering. I came home and made couscous and drank wine. Lovely. I hate it here. My friend is great, she is, but whenever she is here it is non-stop talking about herself. I can't even walk in the door and it begins. It's a billion degrees in the living room. The dog ate my headphones and now the handle off of my glorious water bottle. I am tired and lonely. Saturday I am going out with Kevin. Last night we texted back and forth. I feel confused by this situation. What am I doing? What am I really doing with this life of mine? I was listening to the Ben Folds song "The Luckiest." Do you know that song? God, it's gorgeous. I want that so badly. I don't want to sound needy and co-dependent. But honestly, I am better when I am loving. I was made for it and I can't escape it. I am an independent, smart and perfectly capable woman. But I want companionship. I want to love someone.