Date

I ended up going on that date. It is a long story but I contacted him and he gave me another shot. I felt very lucky.

We went to the Wilde Roast Cafe on the first snow of the year. He hugged me hello. He smelled good. The booth was cozy, the lighting dim and the atmosphere quiet. We shared salads and wine and pizza and dessert. He asked me to sit on his side of the booth and he fed me chocolate cake while we watched horse drawn carriages go by the river. He told me that I talk too much. I laughed at that. I've grown, I guess. He told me his favorite place on Earth is Vegas and the he loves shopping for clothing. He noticed that my fingernails matched my ring which all matched my green dress. He kissed me. We went to Honey for further drinks and I told him I was going to try a special concoction from the bar and for some reason he changed the Vodka in it. It was a little odd. We couch danced a bit and he put his arm around me. He told me that I had beautiful eyes... that he liked the shape. He dropped me off at my car and we hugged and he kissed me again. He told me that he was going to write me a poem.

The next day he wrote me and asked me on a second date. I did not respond. I spent Sunday cuddling on the couch with Kevin. I went over early and made him breakfast. We watched football. We went on a walk in the snow all bundled up. He could barely move his head because of his silly, puffy hood attached to his coat... I called him a super hero. We watched Limitless and ordered Chinese. We went to sleep quietly and he kissed my shoulder. My heart ached with love. I almost told him that I loved him but I held back.

The next day I wrote the Doc back and told him we would not be going out again. It was the correct decision. He would not change my heart. He was not for me.

Winter has barely begun and I'm already freezing my ass of and dying for a long vacation. I know, I am moving to Hawaii shortly. The problem is that my boss told me yesterday that her goal is to have me running an entire email and social media department for all of our companies. She said we can do it. She said that we are going to make my dreams come true. Shit. Why do I have to love working for her so much? I am tempted to stay longer and save more money and get more experience in the travel business and volunteer around town doing massage and then move in September. But I can't do that because it seems like I am then giving up or changing my plans for Kevin. That's not what I would be doing, is it? But somehow it feels like it. I still want to move to Hawaii but I feel like I need more money and experience. Or is that just me justifying my fears and letting them change my plans? I don't think so, but then again, what do I really know about myself.

Life is complicated.

By the way, I am quite delightfully happy right now. These are pretty good dilemmas.