It has been a very long time. I just read my last post and my have things changed since those days. Hawaii is now home. I cannot imagine going back to Minnesota. I live in a perfect house with mango and lychee trees growing in the yard. From my living room and dining room I can see the majesty of Diamond Head. I spend my weekends at beaches and campsites and grilling in my backyard next to clothes blowing in the breeze and drying on the line. The windows are always open. I am almost always outside.
My love is with me and our relationship has twisted and turned and made itself into one of the most joyous and rewarding relationships of my life. He takes out the trash and cleans windows and drives me to work almost every single day. I cook lavish dinners and clean the house and research our weekend escapades. At times he is quiet and does not speak his mind. At times I am as well. Sometimes the words that do come out come from a long ago place where the sadness and fears linger. But these times are becoming fewer and fewer. The laughter and the hugs and the love have become stronger and stronger.
Work is work and just work. I do not dread it. I do not dislike it even. It's not a fantasy job. I do not rake in the dough. But I got to work and make some money, knowing that I will be able to go home and eat and drink and enjoy all the things that surround me. Of course, I still have magnificent dreams of a small restaurant near the water where locals come to eat local, delicious foods and drink spectacular cocktails. My specialties will include sweet potatoes and speck with eggs, banana smoothies, ribeye crostini and hand squeezed lime margaritas. One should never stop dreaming.
I have given up running. It took me some time to finally put that dream away. I still whine about it and miss the hell out of it. Sometimes, though, you have to do what's going to be better for you over time. Every time I attempt to pound the pavement these days, there is pain throughout every inch of my feet, legs and back. It usually sets me in a pained and useless state for days. And so after gaining more weight than one should gain when moving to the island, I've taken on a new program. I am lifting and lifting heavy 4-5 days a week. I am taking spin classes at 5:30 a.m. I am doing brief running sprints at the gym. And hot yoga, including an insane sculpt class, has brought back more joy to my life. I still have some way to go before I feel fit and happy but I am doing my best with this endomorph of a body.
In 3 short weeks I will find myself back in Minnesota for a visit with friends and family. I cannot express how fucking excited I am to spend my vacation there. It seems odd in some ways, but to have 9 days to just wander my old city and catch up with old friends sounds like the best possible vacation I could have right now. It's been almost a year since I've been there. Wow. Time sure does move at lightening speed when life is good.
This is probably going to be the last post of this old blog. I've moved on and feel sort of like a different person than when it all began. 40 Grand in the Hole no longer applies. But perhaps I will begin something new. Perhaps.
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